For about five years after college, I was not focused on what I wanted. I was doing what I thought I needed to do. When my divorce happened, I knew I had to take a good look at my life and what I wanted. I started setting goals and writing them down. Really, I didn’t know where I was and needed something to focus on. Developing this practice is where my change started in 2015. Developing goals have become a huge part of me becoming who I want to be, helping me stay focused. My opportunity to say, “This is where you said you wanted to go. This is what you said you will accomplish.”
For me, that’s a motivator. And the more I interact with them, the more I ask myself:
- What do I want?
- Why do I want it this?
- Why is this important to me?
- What am I willing to do to get this?
I also recognize that if I had more accountability to someone or something other than myself, I would probably do more to stretch myself further than I currently do. It could also help save time, keeping me from repeating mistakes working with someone with experience. I’ve had several figures in the past that were a mentor for me and significant growth has always come from the relationship. Having someone to talk to about your goals in your circle of influence or network is indispensable. I listened to a podcast on The Art of Charm last year where then host, Jordan Harbinger, interviewed Shaquille O’Neal. On episode 602, they covered a lot of topics, including Shaq’s “panel” he consults with when he is setting goals or needing advice. This was an interesting idea for me that I’ve since utilized, along with Jim Rohn’s philosophy that says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This works for me because only those who’s opinion I can trust are consulted and made aware of goals or adjustments made during my journey.
If you’re not ready to have something like this in your life, I still believe writing your goals down and placing them somewhere you can see them every day is a great first step. Also, having a strong reason why you want to do what you’re setting out for will move you forward. But only so far. A goal is only as valuable as the amount of work you’re willing to put into achieving it. I want to be around those who are doing what I’m aspiring to because they will see life completely different than I do. And they may believe that I’m capable of more than I give myself credit for. I may even be limiting myself and what I can accomplish because of this.
It only takes one small step forward consistently enough times to begin growing your confidence and develop your ability to become the person you need to be to achieve your goals. If you wrote down everything you wanted in your life now and in the future, what would be on that list? What would be at the top? Don’t worry about the how to do it. That will come. I encourage you to try this and ask yourself, what am I actually willing to do to achieve this? Then, try that idea out and see what happens. You never know, this could be where your change will begin?