I could see it clearly as day and didn’t have to look to confirm what happened. My productivity declined, and my attention shifted. And there’s a reason for it. Life. Relationship. Being with others and being influenced by other priorities when in a relationship. But, when I stopped engaging with my N.E.T. Action Plan for Productivity, that was around the time of my distraction- what I’m calling a distraction. My purpose for writing the blog Where the Change Happens has always been to share new knowledge, support the reinvention journey, and inspire meaningful change in our lives.
Looking at my calendars and reviewing where my intentionality and productivity have aligned this last year, I can continue to track back until 2018 to see my daily choices regarding my productivity habits. Noticing that I felt unaligned with Where the Change Happens, I re-engaged by reading about human nature and my natural curiosity. Initially, I sought recommendations to begin moving through what I was experiencing, which started with reading The Alchemist.
I want to continue pursuing what is meant for me and what it is that I can uniquely contribute. Books on coaching and the coaching process supported my development as a coach, but they did not wholly serve the areas I’m curious about with Where the Change Happens. The Laws of Human Nature, Thinking Fast and Slow, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Attached, You are the Placebo, Flow, I could go on and on. These books have supported my well-being and shifted my focus and attention. Reading books like Mindset, Influence, and The Four Agreements inspired me before to realize that there is another way I can be, and I can choose to make that shift with this new knowledge.
After leaving Iowa, I dreamed of figuring out where I wanted to be and who I wanted to be around. Being in Seattle now is about how I can serve and deepen my ability to be present with others and notice my triggers—continuing to give my best to the opportunity of each moment. To be present. Reading books like Getting Real, There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem, or The Last Word on Power has supported my relationship development and helped me recognize new practices and ways to be.
Committed to creating transformational action for 2025, Where the Change Happens shifts the process I’d focused on with writing and coaching, leading me to my next opportunity of creativity. Two years ago, I began to re-engage with something I used to do that was fulfilling and supported my well-being: music and playing my guitar and saxophone. That has slowly led to multiple EPs (Embracing the Shadow, Twenty Year Reflection, Twenty Years Revisited) under my artist name, STEG, currently streaming on platforms like Apple Music, Spotify, and YouTube under the STEG.music17 page. The shift is occurring for Where the Change Happens, finding new ways to connect with others. To share energy and to share stories. To share possibilities in a new context. The change has shifted into the unknown, committing to practice and process that leads me to perform live in Seattle before the end of the year. I began Where the Change Happens because I enjoy the process, and it supports my well-being and contributes to the possibility that it can be for others.
Why this Now?
Last year, recording Twenty Year Reflection felt like I’d reconnected to a part of myself I’d forgotten. From writing After the Divorce: From Looking Back to Leaning In, to recording Hard Questions, my journey has continued to be one connected to something I loved doing when I was younger. It’s hard to imagine a preteen version of myself now listening to cassette tapes, pausing and rewinding my favorite songs, and handwriting the lyrics, but I did. What was the chorus? The bridge? I noted all of it and copied their structure, inspired to write and perform my songs one day. I recently found an early journal entry from October 2002, saying I wanted to record and release an album one day. Here we are. It is inspiring to live a version of the future I once imagined and to be able to continue to record and release new music.
Inspired to reconnect to this creative process, I’ve led myself back to a means of communication and self-expressing the processing of my life experience. I once heard, “Everything is energy,” and creating new music supports mine. Having various ways to “get yourself going” again when feeling stuck or perhaps weighed down by the lingering emotions around an experience isn’t a process we’re taught, but it could support us. For over a year, I’ve been processing a lingering frustration around an experience from which I also received a lot of value from. Maya Angelou is famous for the quote, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Where the Change Happens is so important to me. Why? Because it’s not just about divorce but about supporting people and their well-being. Creating meaningful change and supporting the process of transformation. Resolving the obstacle so we can return to alignment and action. Back to being and doing our work. Less introjecting and more integrating in what we want to take forward.
I recognize what works for me won’t work for everyone. So, I ask, who are you listening to? Who is breathing possibility into your life and your space? Who is invited into your experience?
I seek advice from those whose advice I highly trust. When those on my panel speak, it goes to the front of the line; there’s no selling me on what they’re sharing. There’s no convincing me of a perspective. There is no convincing necessary. It’s conversation and connection. This is the relationship between the inner circle and the closest voices at work. To learn from who I am with and be inspired to decide once and for all whether to continue. To open up and share the vulnerable side.
I can also continue my work without being triggered by perspective or something I can’t entirely agree with. It’s good that I began recording music because that opened the floodgates and channels of self-expression to share this experience. This process has also helped me reconnect to my writing process, say what is on my heart, and reconnect with my voice. To the thing that might scare me or frustrate someone else, but is the truth of my experience.
Engaging people I’m in alignment with is like rocket fuel. It’s a personal surge of energy that takes little effort. The new relationship and connection inspire motivated activity. That inspires action and sustains me for the long term. Where the Change Happens is important because it is the transformation process. It is the process of saying enough is enough. For me, the main thing is to live a life of purpose and meaning that I declare.
This is also me turning 41 and recognizing the landscape is shifting. I was not satisfied in many ways before; now, I am living in the unknown and creating the new vision for my life. I am living in a possibility of what I never thought I could be. And yet, life continues, and there’s more to grow and share. As I continue expanding my voice with Where the Change Happens, I want to say I’m grateful for the space to digest the journey of transformation and recognize where my shift may have become a distraction and a barrier to my moving forward. What I’m noticing in feeling around where I’m placing my energy and attention is shifting into where I feel alignment.
Take stock of where you have come from over the last year or two, or ten. Who has come and gone? Think about what you’ve been able to create and can accomplish and achieve. Who have you been able to connect with, and what purpose did you leave with? Look at what is being realized. Can you recognize where you have become where the change happens?
In the End
I wanted to share that I’ve been distracted. Or rather, I was distracted. But at the same time, it was necessary for our journey of creating new energy and momentum. I’m paying more attention to my response to how projections, introjections, and unresolved frustration not stated can impact how I choose to go forward and derail momentum. Supporting small shifts in our being that contribute to the course correction and positively change our direction. Like a ship in the ocean, this is no sharp turn but a gradual and consistent progression that becomes unmistakable and significantly noticeable over time.
I am reconnecting with my website and social media. And with the latest music I’ve recently released to streaming, I am embracing my shadow with the music from STEG. Where the Change Happens has happened and is being experienced, living the dream of purpose and fulfillment. I want to share resources in the human experience with others to the best of my ability. To the capacity, I have to be with.
If you’re curious of my reading list from 2024, check out some of the titles below.
The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander
The Book of Joy by His Holiness the Dali Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams
The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Knowledge for Action by Chris Argyris
The Crowd: Study of the Popular Mind by Gustave Le Bon
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone , Bruce Patton , and Sheila Heen
Tantra by OSHO
The Molecule of More by Daniel Z. Leiberman, MD and Michael E. Long
Bet of Talent by Dee AnnTurner
Interested in discussing creating meaningful change in your experience, sharing insights and tools or books to support our well-being, and entering our community of lives in relationships? Deepen your communication ability, better understand each other, and connect on Instagram or email connect@wherethechangehappens.com.
The work will never end; the journey will continue until our last day. In these times, that variable can be out of our control. Connect at WheretheChangeHappens.com, or you can find me on an Instagram @wherethechangehappenscoaching, or you could follow more about my music as STEG by clicking on YouTube, Instagram, and on TikTok.
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What was most useful or valuable here for you in this blog post? Leave a comment below or send me your feedback to connect@wherethechangehappens.com.
Can I ask for your help? Where the Change Happens and After the Divorce: From Looking Back to Leaning In, could reach other readers like you by reading a helpful review on Amazon. Click here to leave your review for Where the Change Happens and here to review After the Divorce to help your community discover where they can begin to create meaningful change in their relationships today.
For more music by STEG currently streaming on platforms click here for Apple Music, Spotify, and YouTube under the STEG.music17 YouTube page.
If you’ve enjoyed reading this blog post or find a useful idea, please share it with your friends and family. Your referral is greatly appreciated. I look forward to discovering where the change happens with you.